Host: Good evening, folks, and welcome to the week in review. I’m your host, and if you’re listening to this, congratulations—you survived another seven days of Planet Earth, which, as we’ll see tonight, is getting weirder by the hour. It is Sunday, February 15th, 2026, and honestly, the news this week feels like it was written by a chat bot going through a midlife crisis. Let’s get into it.
First up, we go to India, where ghosting your fiancé just got a major upgrade. A 23-year-old woman in a village near the border decided she really, really didn’t want to go through with her arranged marriage. But instead of sending a text or, I don’t know, fleeing the country like a normal person, she staged a supernatural event. Her family walked into her bedroom and found—not her—but a five-foot-long cobra skin lying in her bed. The village panicked, convinced she had transformed into a mythical shape-shifting snake woman known as an 'Ichchadhari Nagin.' Police were called, prayers were chanted... and then they found out she was just hanging out with her boyfriend a few towns over. You have to respect the commitment, though. Most people just fake a headache; she faked being a reptile. That is a high bar for breakups in 2026.
Meanwhile, in Brazil, the humans are partying for Carnival, but the real action was at the 'Blocao' dog parade in Rio de Janeiro yesterday. That’s right, hundreds of dogs took to the streets dressed as fairies, superheroes, and even police officers. One dog was wearing a cardboard soccer net. Another was dressed as an alligator. The event was actually a protest against animal cruelty, which is noble, but mostly it was a chance to see a Golden Retriever in a tutu. If you’ve never seen a pug dressed as a riot cop trying to sniff a poodle dressed as a butterfly, you haven’t really seen democracy in action.
Let’s head over to Germany, where the police solved the mystery of the 'Phantom Doorbell Ringer.' Residents in a quiet neighborhood were terrified because their doorbells kept ringing in the middle of the night, but when they checked the cameras... nobody was there. Was it ghosts? Ninjas? Nope. It was a slug. A very slimy, very persistent slug. Police found the little guy traversing the touch sensor of a smart doorbell, leaving a trail of slime that triggered the mechanism.
I love that in 2026, our smart homes are being hacked by mollusks. We have AI that can write poetry, but we can still be outsmarted by a snail without a shell.
Moving stateside to California, where a high-speed chase took a refreshing turn. Three men led deputies on a pursuit through Yucaipa, but they didn’t just drive fast—they started lobbing full beer cans at the police cruisers behind them. I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure 'assault with a lager' is a felony. It’s the ultimate multitasking: evading arrest and emptying the cooler at the same time. They were eventually caught, presumably because they ran out of ammo—or snacks.
And finally, we wrap up in Argentina, where witnesses reported a mysterious, powerful beam of light shooting down from the sky this week. It lit up the night for a few seconds and then vanished. Ufologists are saying it’s aliens; skeptics are saying it’s a drone; and I’m saying it’s probably just that woman from India trying to find her snakeskin.
That’s the world you live in, folks. Stay safe, keep your doorbells slug-free, and if you need to cancel a date, maybe just send a text. Goodnight!
Backgrounder Notes
Based on the article provided, here are the key facts and concepts identified for further clarification, accompanied by expert backgrounders:
Ichchadhari Nagin Rooted deeply in Indian folklore and popularized by Bollywood cinema, the Ichchadhari Nagin is a mythical, shape-shifting cobra capable of assuming human form at will. These beings are frequently depicted in legends as protectors of the "Naagmani" (a gem) or as vengeful spirits seeking retribution for a wronged lover.
Rio Carnival Held annually immediately before the Catholic season of Lent, the Carnival of Rio de Janeiro is considered the largest carnival in the world, attracting millions of people for days of samba dancing, parades, and street festivals. The timing of the event changes every year based on the Easter calendar; in 2026, the peak festivities would indeed align with mid-February.
Blocão The term "Blocão" is a Portuguese portmanteau combining bloco (referring to the traditional street party groups of Carnival) and cão (dog). Held in Rio's Copacabana neighborhood, this specific parade is a long-standing tradition where pet owners dress their animals in elaborate costumes to march in a protest against animal cruelty.
Capacitive Touch Sensors The technology used in most smart doorbells relies on capacitive sensing, which detects changes in electrical charge when a conductive object (like a human finger) touches the surface. Because a slug's mucus trail is composed largely of water and dissolved salts, it is electrically conductive enough to mimic a human touch and trigger the device’s sensor.
Yucaipa, California Yucaipa is a city located in San Bernardino County, situated in the foothills of the San Bernardino Mountains. Its geography creates a transition zone between urban sprawl and rugged, open terrain, often complicating high-speed pursuits due to winding roads and elevation changes.
Ufology Ufology is the study of reports, visual records, and physical evidence regarding Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs) or Unidentified Aerial Phenomena (UAP). While generally considered a pseudoscience by the mainstream academic community, ufologists systematically categorize sightings to determine if phenomena are natural, man-made, or potentially extraterrestrial in origin.
